We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Randomize
