this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
