I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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