you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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