New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
