Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Damn victory sex feels great
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
