ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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