...so i touched it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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