jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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