We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
