So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
