also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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