Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize