is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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