We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
