Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
