We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
