this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
