I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
