she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
