I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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