she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
