Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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