Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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