You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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