There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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