i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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