this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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