you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
