I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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