I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
