We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
