That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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