I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
