Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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