im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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