I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I didn't notice because vodka
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
