dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
