so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
