bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need a beard to bite.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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