I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
