I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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