The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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