I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
