i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
