that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
