Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he was CRYING into my vagina
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize