I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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