My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
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Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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