Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
