Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
