you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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