He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
