That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
