I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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