so explain again why im purple
no
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize