On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
