Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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