garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
