So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
