fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
