Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
