Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
